Self-manipulation

Back in the day when the Backstreet Boys wanted it that way, when Christina Aguilera was not dirrrty (only stuck in a bottle) and I really quiero'd that Taco Bell, I would spend hours glued to the tube, jumping from big couch to little couch. I would reenact whatever I saw: X-Men, Power Rangers, Days of Our Lives, you name it. I dissected the couch eventually, and that's when I convinced myself that our couch was a pull out bed. I would spend hours clawing at the crack, gripping the couch's springs and imagining a new bouncy bed I could parachute off. The couch would of course never unfold but I just thought I wasn't strong enough to release it. Instead, I would revel at the lost and found we collected underneath the cushions. Pens, bobby pins, crumbs of our favorite snacks--three seats of junk summed up a simple life so perfectly. I suppose you can't expect anything else though from where you plant your ass.

Three-Month Recap

Hello readers! Stalkers! Frenemies.

It's been a long time and we've consequently become distant Facebook friends, I know. Let's move past it and be friends again. Best. Friends. I'll give a quick recap of the past three months (aka a self-absorbed copout for a blog entry):

• July 2009 was warmer times with summer dreams finally coming to fruition after a season of rain in the Northeast. I went to Chicago, wined and dined, saw sights, drank dranks, and fell asleep at a post-bar-hopping meal. We can lather, rinse, and repeat for my trip to Boston. I also began the apartment search and had an Invisalign consultation. Stay tuned for more on these hot topics. *cue commercial break*
• Invisalign consultation told me what I expected and dreaded: braces for a year. But no no, wait, don't make that frowny face because it's a clear plastic tray that no one will ever notice! Unless they are looking at you within a four foot radius. Plus...there'th a thing in your mouthhhh! I opt against and learn to love the imperfections.
• I realize that I grind my teeth at night. Hunger? Bad dreams? Sexual frustration? The jury is still out but I've bought a cheap mouthguard from Target and have slept with it since. It is extremely awkward to sleep with a thing in your mouth.
• Yes....that's what she said.
• Upgrades: Moved into new apartment. Washer/dryer, central AC/heat, garage, balcony, absent landlady--tremendous upgrades. I also have upgraded phones from this to THIS. LOVE IT.
• I turn 23 and reflect on my first year out of college and on the East Coast. I've become a confrontational madman and almost ten pounds lighter. Texans need not worry though, apathy still holds a strong place in my heart for now.
• Visited good ole Dallas, where nothing changes except marital status. Then spent an extended weekend in Cancun, where I avoided swine flu but contracted Montezuma's Revenge. I've been pooping guacamole for the past four days. TMI?

Too long of an entry. Definitely TMI.

The End of Days

So...hi.

I've kind of fallen off the blogwagon as of late, but I'm back (only to return to obscurity). What a past few days though. Michael Jackson is dead. Not to be forgotten: Ed McMahon, Billy Mays, and Farah Fawcett, who died of anal cancer. Which is exactly what you think it is. And caused by exactly what you think.

A Voldemort of cancers, truly a "Cancer That Shall Not Be Named."

Today will be the final post in the New Job Blogumentary series. As the 30th of June concludes, so does my first month of my new job. I can honestly say that I enjoy my new job. Do I wake up every morning with a smile on my face, excited for another day at the office? Hell no, I arise late, disgruntled, and contemplative between making breakfast or gambling on a stale donut in the breakroom.

What have I accomplished in the past month? Well my new gig ties me down with more responsibility, which is "good" in one of those ways where you don't really like it while it's happening but the results speak for themselves. Kind of like running. Except I hate running.

While I have more responsibility, I have more freedom. No one babies me and I come into work at 9:45 usually, which is a dream because I love to sleep in. I've made plenty of mistakes though but more times than not, admitting your faults is the first step towards growth. Not ego inflation.

My friend-seduction of Kumar has been successful. I am adopting one of his two cats after his Craigslist ads panned no hits. He showed me both cats and I claimed the cuter one (this is a chilling representation of the power of beauty, it pays to be cute). I'm thankful that the cats are free, but more thankful for another peer. And also thankful for his shitty description of the cat that made Craigslist a dead end. Because now I anticipate the day I become father of Rumsfeld Krishnan Mukhopadyay Park, a "medium-haired normal cat." My 낭만 고양이.

*head banging*

Mega points to you if you got that reference. It means we can be friends too.

Day #17 & #18

Major deadline closing today. I have one of those jobs where I have to wait on other people to send me stuff, and of course, they're late. So late that a Vice President sat down with me and called them up. It's nice to work with senior executives, they're really nice but you're kind of scared the entire time.

Despite her pulling her VP-card, I'm still waiting on a few people to gimme their stuff. Fucking Brits, waiting until the absolute last moment. So...I had the marvelous idea of staying the night in the office and sleeping on the floor, all for the sake of a 3 am call I need to make to the UK. Our 3 am is their 8 am.

"Cheerio. So...where's my shit?"

Analyse that.

Day #16

It's a strange feeling when you realize the aftermath of 20+ years of church. I found myself in a bit of trouble today from some miscommunication and was totally expecting a wave of guilt thrown on me. And also to be beaten, but that's more a byproduct of my Korean household. Thankfully, my team is full of grace from unknown sources. I choose to believe that we're just good people, and that the rest of the world is weird. Perhaps this is also Christian.

We have a status meeting every Monday. With the majority of my significant memories stemming from church-something, I always feel a bit weird leaving our Monday meetings without a closing prayer. To the point where I linger in my seat, waiting for someone to bow their head and clap their hands.

"Dear God, please let all this work go away. In Your Name, Amen."

I've purposely refrained from speaking in all avenues about religion. To put it briefly, it's a messiness that continues to rock my world. I'm like a snow globe, a wonderful disaster when unsettled and all shook up.

Day #15

"I'm still at the office" is going to be my opening line now.

It's 7:19 pm on a Friday and I'm still at the office. Granted, I'm leaving soon but there's so much work left for the weekend. It really does feel like I'm in school again except I can't blow anything off. Not that I ever did before, but now I'm on the line.

"Real world."

Doesn't get much real-er than this.

Future career in 10 years: simple hot dog stand vendor.

Day #14

So...I completely missed the 8 am deadline which fortunately became a Friday 7 am deadline. And I'm done now. I've mentally checked out for the rest of the week (a case of the Thursdays). Nothing left to say except I feel like a brat who refuses to do anything but roll around on the floor and whine.

Public Service Announcement: Hardwood floors are not ideal for rolling around on.

Are Doritos toxic for the breath? Absolutely, it's foul and noxious. I could ward off vampires.

Is this me burning out? Negative. Not now. He holds his own.