Aside from being carded and given the heavy up and down whenever I do anything dangerous, I never minded looking like a sixteen year old. It's kind of strange the way others react. "You look so young." Also interchangeable for "young" is "dark," but that's a different story.
My classic response was always, "yeah, I'm gonna be a DILF." But now that I'm surrounded by balding 30-somethings with leathery skin and saggy bellies, thirty is the new eighteen. It's the subconscious correlation we make between age and wisdom. You're going to trust Santa Claus for sound advice on life, more than the seasoned Britney.
Just don't shave your head.
I sat in on a meeting today with managers and a Vice President. I sit down the hall from our CEO. Whenever I meet them, I can see the look of "awww" in their faces, in response to mine. Truth be told, whenever I speak up, I always make sure that what I'm saying is on point. Because I know that looking young comes with a stereotype of antics, nonsense, and laziness at the office. And while that is a bit true, I want more. *cue Chris Crocker voice* MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE.
Ugh, did I really just make two references to Britney?
Cheers to being a DILF!
Chris Crocker is one crazy mofo.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, there are enough sickos out there for DILF to stand for Daughter I'd Love to Fuck. What youre going for is FILF. Unless you're future holds a sex change that we don't know about, which still wouldn't really apply because the DILF statement apparently only applies to girls 20 and younger. Refer to Julie or Kat for more detailed guidelines, I'm just regurgitating information at this point.
omg
ReplyDeletehttp://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=dilf
we need julie and kat here to caucus.
I'm sorry Jaewon, but in our corner of the universe where perversion and pedophilia reign, DILF stands for "Daughter I'd Like to Fuck" whereas FILF stands for "Father I'd Like to Fuck". Now, truth be told, society would disagree because such categorization encourages preying upon young girls. However, Julie and I rebel against societal constraints and therefore reappropriated the acronym. Meaning, we're both creepsters.
ReplyDeletewtf i just re-read this post and my comment and...why come i ain't no eloquent no mo like i used to be?? seriously, i need to start writing again because i talk like a remedial retard, working this here corporate life.
ReplyDeleteJAEWONIMISSYOU!